I made the mistake of agreeing to do what was supposed to be a weekend job: a simple registration form for an event with a splash screen. I knew the client was not completely web-savvy so I padded the estimate just a bit and asked for $400 for the coding, and $100 to give to my designer friend for the splash. The programming in Ruby on Rails, I knew, would take less than 4 or 5 hours, and then an hour or two for tweaking and customer service. Decent cash.
To date, I have spent at least 20 hours, spread out over four months, on the job.
I have been berated for things including, but not limited to: spelling mistakes in the copy provided by the client; uninteresting web design for the form (?!); the stock image selected for the splash screen, after the client failed to respond to requests for design guidance, being “not ‘Colorado’ enough” (???); the splash screen image not being big enough (because users HATE fast-loading pages). I am not even going to get into the number of database schema revisions that had to be made, or the fact that she didn’t get how to use the CMS I created to update registrant choices on the form.
My favorite exchange was regarding the proofreading. She sent me a list of events with a ton of misspellings. I nicely told her she could enter the events herself through the CMS I gave her. She didn’t get it. So I nicely entered the events for her.
Next day: “There are spelling mistakes!”
“That’s the copy you sent me. You can edit in in the form at http://blahblah.”
“Why do I HAVE TO EDIT IT?! I EXPECT SERVICE. YOU SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS FOR A LIVING.”
Look, Ms. Retarded Client. Say you paint houses for a living (and if you don’t, you should). I pay you $x to “make my house look good”. You ask me what color to paint it and I say “white”. So you come over jolly as can be and paint my house white. Then I say, “Why is it such a bland white? There is nothing appealing at all about this white. Can it be a little darker?” Of course you would say to me, “Look Ms. Dumbfuck, I can’t repaint your house ivory, because I asked you in advance what color you wanted, and you said white. If you’re going to have your house painted you can educate yourself enough to know that ivory and white are different colors.”
“Ugh. Fine,” I would say. “Now please wash my windows.”
“But I am not a window washer!”
“WHAT?! I’m paying you $x, and you said you would make my house look good, and you can’t even wash my windows????”
Conclusion 1: If you can afford to choose your clients, choose clients who understand what you do.
Corollary 1: Pad for retardation. If your client is not savvy, they WILL make ridiculous demands. Plan ahead and quote twice the price. At least.
Conclusion 2: You are a programmer. Sometimes you are also a sysadmin.
You are not a:
- designer
- artist
- proofreader
- content manager
Make sure your client understands this.
6 Comments
If only it were limited to the occational client.. sigh.
As I have many times said, consider a professional writing career.
Thank you for posting this. After a terrible exchange with a client, I googled sh*tty clients and found your post. I knew I wasn’t alone!! I try not to take it personally but I do anyway.
Whatever you do, don’t take it personally! Professionalism is not just about treating your clients well, it is about treating your vendors well. So if you are being mistreated, your client is not being professional. End of story.
Words to live by. I did the same as Molly, googling “dealing with shitty clients”. When a verbal push turns shove, it’s hard to know if you want to continue the project or get rid of the client
Wow.. ditto. I googled the exact phrase. Guess everyone goes through a phase like this in business but it really makes all the other relatively good clients (as compared to the shitty one) look like angels!