Being a techie is great. You belong to a caste of office high-priests: if an untouchable so much as asks you to fix an HTML typo, you pretend you are embarking on an NP-completeness proof. You are respected. You probably make decent money.
I am one of you, a snotty little twerp in glasses, and I am your worst nightmare. This defector seeks to inform the ignorant populace of your tips and tricks. When the world is mine, they shall no longer grovel at your feet for database reports, nor pray for mercy when faced with a stack trace – no, the time will come when they know that errors are due to your shitty exception handling and not Olympian thunderbolts. And then, they will fix them. And fire you.
While I have my plan for world domination copyedited and approved by my legal counsel, check out Chris Pine’s Learn to Program Ruby tutorial. If you really want to be handheld through what feels like a third-grade math lesson, buy the book for $13 on Amazon. As for future entries, I am completely open to suggestions, whether it’s “What the Heck is Programming?”, “How to Set Up a Corporate Website with $10″ or “Web Localization for Americans and other Monolinguals: How to Sell to Unshaven Europeans and other Wild Non-Showering Peoples”.
Why?! you ask. I’ll tell you why. My dear elitist technocrats, I was once one of the gammas. I worked on an editorial staff and had to deal with your “let-them-eat-cake” crap for years. And then I infiltrated. I gained a degree in Computer Science. I gained knowledge. I gained weight. And now it’s time for justi…
…I mean…I’m just trying to give interested family and friends some pointers. Techies aren’t so bad. At least they’re rotund, jolly dandies and not the underpaid chain-smoking divorcees you deal with in publishing.
The Two-Faced Janus of Techiedom and Otherness